We’ve been mulling over whether to change a car before winter. I’ve got quite a hankering for a four wheel drive, but for a variety of reasons (not least that we really like both of the current cars!) we’ve decided to stick with what we’ve got. The real issue we faced last winter was the snow and ice – we couldn’t get either car off the drive, let alone navigate safely. I’ve read many good things about winter tyres, most notably the fact that they out perform normal tyres when the temperature is 7 degrees or lower regardless of the presence of snow or ice – and that kind of temperature can usually be found in December, January and February. So I’ve decided to source another set of wheels for the 330d, and fit them with winter tyres.

The 330d’s large front brakes mean that the smallest wheels that can be fitted are 17 inches, and these come as standard with 225/45 R17s. 17 inch wheels are less desirable than the “sport” 18s, and are therefore easier to come by. Winter tyres are also more readily available in smaller sizes, so it made sense to start hunting for E46 17 rims. Ebay of course came up with a variety of options, and last weekend I managed to pick up a set of my preferred style 44 E46 17s from a nice chap in Salisbury. As is so often the case, the 330d wasn’t available when I needed it, so the M5′s passenger space ensured the new rims had a comfortable journey home.

This morning I was up bright and early to take the wheels to my preferred tyre centre.

Wheels in the garage. The tyres aren’t up to much, but they have now been disposed of.

Today the 330d was available, and it made short work of swallowing its spare wheels.

I was a bit taken aback by the tyre centre’s reaction when I asked to talk to someone about winter tyres. “Are you going abroad?” No, but England is having a winter. In any case, I was instructed that I’d have to call back during the week to get them to let me know the options. A little disappointing really – mytyres.co.uk offer a good range with decent brands starting at £105 a corner. In any case, I will call them in the week, and they did at least pop the tyres off the rims and dispose of them for me.

I gave them a clean and considered their rather dubious state of repair – they’ve received some fairly heavy kerbing in their time.

Here’s a close up – three of the wheels were like this most of the way round – the best wheel just had about 60 degrees of this kind of damage. It looks like someone has tried to touch them up – I thought I’d try to improve on their attempt.

Here’s the same wheel after I’d had a go at it with a power detail sander.

Still looks a bit wrong but it was smooth to the touch. I did the same to all of the wheels.

Then it was time for another wash before I painted them. In the garage ready for a paint:

And here’s the same wheel painted:

Final photo: the full set, painted and lacquered.

The photo actually makes them look better than there are. If you look closely it’s pretty obvious they’ve been touched up rather than professionally refurbished, but I’m satisfied with the result given just a few hours work. The next step is to source and fit some winter tyres – then wait for winter!

The car is currently on 225/40 R18s (and 255/35 R18s at the back), so these 17s won’t look as bling, and even with summer tyres wouldn’t provide the same grip in the warm and dry. However, it won’t be warm and dry in mid-winter! Also, the old man in me is looking forward to the higher tyre profile – it’ll be interesting to see if the ride quality improves noticably.

On the 16th July we marked a year since we moved house. I had meant to blog about that at the time, but as I like to say, better late than never. Upstairs, we’ve finally finished the main bedroom; here’s a before, during, and after.

I’m really pleased with the ceiling fan and downlighters – although they were horrific to install (the loft is extremely unpleasant). We bought that tiger picture on our first trip to India. We’ve also replaced the carpet in the other (rather lively yellow) front room, and I’ve turned one of the back bedrooms into a little office; the final bedroom is simply still repugnant.

Downstairs we’ve just had the dining room wall plastered – it was incredibly warped. This photo of the drying plaster nicely illustrates the previous shape: the dark patches are wet; the plaster here is a lot thicker, the result is now smooth. This photo was taken 48 hours after work was completed.

Now it’s still a bit of a mess, but the majority of the decorating is complete.

In the living room, remember this?

Mid way:

And today with carpet and sofas – it’s great to finally have this room finished!

Di’s office ready for carpets:

I spent much of a Saturday chiselling channels for the AV cables around that doorway:

And today:

All in all, my plan is finally coming together!

Here’s my latest curry recipe – this time a saucy chicken dish with loads of fresh veg. The portions here should comfortably be enough for four hungry people – can probably stretch to six mere mortals.

To start, get a big pan, fill two-thirds with water, and add a splash of vegetable oil. Then, scoop a pint of basmati rice from your sack, and plonk that in the water. Cover and leave; soak time is valuable – if at all possible do this a few hours before you start to cook.

Next cover the bottom of a big pot with oil, and dump a load of Madras paste in there – it’s sticky stuff and I put six heaped tablespoon full in. Stir it all up and leave on the lowest heat setting you’ve got.

Now it’s time to prepare the bird. Chop into typical curry-house chunks and stir into the paste and oil. Should look something like this:

Next, peel and prepare three medium sized onions, the best part of a bulb of garlic, and a decent sized knob of ginger. Thouroughly blend this lot up with some coconut milk and add it to the chicken. Add some ground coriander, cumin and garam masala and get the hob straight up to full heat. Get frying – while that’s happening add some chopped cauliflower.

Don’t let it fry for too long – we don’t want dry chicken. While that’s going on (don’t forget to stir!), blend 8 fresh tomatoes and 4 fresh chillis. As soon as the chicken looks cooked, add the new blend.

Let it bubble away – add some chopped peppers too. Turn down to a nice low heat. You can hold at this point for quite a while if you need to, only continue when you’re about 15 minutes away from wanting to dish up.

Fire up the rice! As I’ve mentioned before, if a scum builds up scoop it off with a spoon. Rice should be gently twirling in the water – not boiling too furiously (too hot), nor stuck at the bottom (too cold).  Rice needs constant attention to get it right. As soon as the grains aren’t hard in the middle, it is ready.

That should be that! Happy eating…

It became apparent yesterday that the 330d had a sticking rear right caliper – apparent because after a journey of only a few miles, the brakes were really juddery and the rear right wheel was what could only be described as ‘bastard hot’. This morning I leapt into action – grabbing new rear discs, pads and sensor from the Woking ECP. The chap there was super helpful, advising that I check that the hose hadn’t collapsed before assuming that the caliper was at fault. I was pleased to return at 9:30am with this haul:

I was pleased that nothing was seized, stuck, rounded or rusty; everything came off a treat.

I’d been advised to check if light passed through the hose in order to determine whether or not it had collapsed. I couldn’t do this, so returned to ECP with both the caliper and hose to see what the chap there thought. With the aid of an LED torch he proved the hose was okay, and so a caliper was ordered – to be available from 2:30pm – bonus! So, back home and time to do everything else I could.

Shiny shiny!

An all too familiar sight…

I enjoyed a spot of lunch from the BBQ while watching the world cup opening ceremory. The chap was right – the caliper was ready at 2:30. So, back to it:

I bled the brakes off and verified that nearly everything was fine. The handbrake didn’t work. I noticed while changing the rotors that the old shoes were pretty worn, and in a desperate attempt to tighten things up at the handbrake end to allow me to get back to the world cup match, I’ve snapped a cable. Grrr!

So in order, I should have:

• Slackened off the handbrake at the lever before trying to remove the rotors
• Adjusted up the shoes properly from the rear of the car
• Stuck to my principals and refused to work on a car while the world cup was on

So I’ve booked the car in to have new shoes and a new cable fitted on Tuesday. That’s pretty pricey, but the shoes definitely need replacing, and I wouldn’t want to do that myself (especially during the world cup!). I’ll be very pleased to know all the rear brakes are renewed. While I’ve replaced the rear pads in September 2008, the rotors looked pretty old when I got the car over 50,000 miles ago, so it all certainly needed doing.

Today I replaced the 330d’s oil separator – here’s a quick ‘how to’. Parts:

B11.12.7.793.164 – about £11 + VAT. Comes with a couple of seals you’ll need too.

Begin, perhaps bizarrely, by removing the cabin filter and assembly tray from the back of the engine below the windscreen. You’ll need to pull all the rubber seals and whizz out 4 star bolts. Don’t drop one of them down onto the belly tray – it’ll cost you a lot of time and make you miss the rugby match you wanted to see.

Remove the air filter cover, and then the larger cover on this side of the engine (temporarily remove oil filler cap). You’ll need a hex attachment and a long extension bar. Note the condition of my air-filter. I would thoroughly recommend changing that item at the same time – I wish I had one in stock!

Next, remove the star capped bolts shown in the photo below. I used an E8 attachment – I think ideally I needed an E6 attachment, but I didn’t have one and the E8 one just about did the job. For clarity: one bolt is under the extension bar that’s in my left hand, the other is silver and in the bottom right corner of the photo.

Here is perhaps a more clear view of proceedings:

The oil separator lives under the circular black casing shown above. Remove more hex bolts, and waggle the assembly out. You’ll need to pull the wiring channel out of the way – it just fits – that’s why those small star headed bolts were removed. Once out you’ll see something like the below – you should recognise the seals that can be replaced with those that came in the separator kit – pull them out using those lovely little lugs and give it all a clean up.

Replace the seals. Engine bay should look something like this (hopefully cleaner).

Prepare shiny new oil separator. Be amazed at how blue the new one is compared with the soggy black outgoing item.

Swap them over.

Inspect giant mess. Put it all together. Marvel at smoke free acceleration!

I’ve mentioned on and off that the 330d’s boot glass has been misbehaving. The first symptom was that the button under the rear wiper stopped working. I could live with that. However, then the lid starting popping open at random times of its own accord. Rather irritating when you’re driving along; extremely worrying when it does so when parked at night – boot lights alerting any would-be criminal that it’s open.

A couple of weeks back I dismantled the assembly and cleaned it up. This brought the switch back to life, and I thought it had stopped the boot from opening of its own accord, but recently it started playing up again. I’ve therefore invested in a replacement unit, and have installed it today. Here follows a step by step procedure for anyone else who is suffering the same.

Parts:

B61.31.9.218.995 – key button
B61.31.9.218.995 – gasket

Before any discount but including VAT these cost £30. The ‘key button’ was in stock but the gasket wasn’t, so I had to return to collect that later. Annoyingly, when I came to do this job I discovered the ‘key button’ came with a new gasket so that part wasn’t required at all. I’m not certain if this is supposed to be the case or not, but certainly worth checking, and if you don’t need to order the gasket separately, it’ll be more like a £25 job.

So, the procedure. Open the boot glass. Remove the two plastic covers, and unleash a 10mm socket to free the plastic housing.

Undo the newly visible 10mm nut.

Next lower the glass lid and attack the outside. The rear wiper’s plastic hinge cover should come off with a bit of persuasion to reveal a 13mm nut. Whip that off.

That will allow you to remove the wiper arm – you may need a spot of leverage with a flat head screwdriver to pop it off the splines.

Then get a 24mm socket on the exposed nut. Once that’s off, the switch needs disconnecting from the car on the inside, and all parts can be removed. This should leave you with a pile of goodies that looks something like this:

Clean everything up “good and proper”.

Reassemble with new switch and gasket.

So far everything it good: the switch works and the lid has remained shut. Only time will tell how permanent this fix is!

Having suffered some criticism last weekend for daring to permit my topic to stray from cars, here’s a long overdue update on the M5. It has had relatively little use over winter – a notable exception being a trip to Wales for the Wyedean rally.

I actually forgot to blog about that. Fortunately, Brenden did so. Anyway, the M5 still had the Michelin Pilot Sports on the front that were fairly worn when I got it.

Legal, but tired, if you’ll forgive the pun. I therefore nipped out and got a pair of Good Year Eagle F1s – a quick £270 for 245/40R18s.

After a brief pit-stop at Vines BMW to pick up some bits for the tractor (more on that next weekend I imagine), I decided to pay to have the car cleaned.

With a new set of boots and a bath, the super saloon was once again restored to its former glory!

There were a couple of other niggles I resolved too. Firstly, as ever, it needed a dash of oil (E39 M5s use oil at a rate comparable to petrol it seems). Also, regular readers may recall I mentioned the windscreen washer jets were broken. I bought the replacements before Christmas, and this weekend I finally got around to fitting them!

In the above photo the old ones are on the left – note that one of the inputs is completely missing!

The new items were really easy to fit, and now they’re aligned I’m pleased to once again be able to say that everything works on my M5 – not bad for a 10 year old car with all the bells and whistles! Next weekend: tractor time. Until then, I shall admire my lovely new boots.

Prompted at least in part by Robin being asked to blog more, and also because I noticed that I completely failed to blog in January, and February is coming to a close, here’s a long overdue update from me on ‘stuff’.

I’ll start with Di’s office, a room that doubles as my gaming room. Here’s a shot of the gaming end of the room taken in August, shortly after we moved in and began decorating:

Here’s a shot of that end of the room today:

The blue screen reminds me I’m in the middle of a Fedora Core upgrade on the server, but that’s probably a topic for a more geeky post. Most relevant in the above photo is the sub and two satellite speakers. There are two more at the other end of the room, plus a centre speaker behind the TV. I’ve also run a signal cable from Di’s computer, so there’s a choice of inputs from the PS3, the server, or Di’s workstation. This can either be in 5.1 theatre mode – great for Modern Warfare on the PS3 or films, or in general audio mode – excellent for music while we work or are entertaining.

I’m really quite disproportionately enthusiastic about this audio situation. I’m a really big fan of having speakers high up in all corners of the room. Music from a tinny point source just isn’t something I’m interested in; I’d much rather have music fill the room without needing to be too loud. Additionally, the surround sound experience is amazing. When playing Modern Warfare in the dark, the sound of gunfire and explosions going off in relevant corners of the room definitely adds to the experience.

Moving on then (ahem!), the living room. Remember this?

We’ve made some progress here. I started by ripping up the minging carpet. This reveals slightly less minging underlay. Still, we’ve had the room decorated, fitted some curtains and stuck up a few pictures. Finishing touches (like a replacement carpet and a new sofa) will have to wait until the hound can be better trusted.

I also want to get a modern surround sound system for this room (the one in Di’s office is well over a decade old). There are also speakers in the kitchen and dining room, and I really want to be able to chain the three rooms together in such a way that any source in any room can be listened to in any or all rooms downstairs. This will be so good not only for parties, but also for some banging tunes to do chores to.

As a general note I want to replace all the interior doors. Unfortunately they’re all a very bizarre non-standard size, so I’ll have to appoint someone to make nice white doors with glass panels to just the right size. Moving through that doorway to the kitchen and dining room:

We still haven’t done anything about the funny green walls or that revolting door, but we have had Alexander Barden round to fit new flooring. There was lino flooring in the kitchen, and it is just about possible to see the old carpet below the cupboard door. I did have a picture of the man himself, hard at work displaying his generous bum-cleavage, but fortunately for you, dear reader, I can’t find that photo. Still, we’re really pleased with the results.

Upstairs there has been progress in the master bedroom, taking it from this:

To this:

New carpet required here too, and fortunately this is a no-dog zone, so we just need to get our act together there. As an aside, I’ve replaced the three single sockets in this room with double sockets. I really despise single sockets! Why go to all the effort of cabling up, cutting a hole and purchasing hardware to arrive at a single socket. A double could have been fitted for such little extra effort and cost!

The darker wall there is covered in a really nice textured paint – just a hint of 3D to it. I did try to photograph it but I appear to lack sufficient skills to produce a picture that suitably demonstrates the effect.

Finally, while Alex was working here he also fitted a shower screen which has modernised and tidied the bathroom nicely:

One day I’ll get around to putting the side of the bath back on!

In other matters Di is currently catching some rays in Tunisia, and Snoop is growing up nicely. Without going into too much detail, it has been a few weeks now since he has done anything, even overnight, that means I can’t call him house trained.

Alex is now self-employed. He specialises in network cable installations for business, but has significant experience as a builder and so is generally available for home improvement jobs such as new kitchens, bathrooms, wall relocation etc. If you’re interested in his services drop me a line and I’ll put you in touch!

As this decade draws to a close I thought I’d reflect back on the motoring changes I’ve experienced. As we celebrated the new millennium I was the almost proud owner of a 1992 Ford Escort estate. With a lusty 1.4 litre engine it could barely pull the skin from a rice pudding, but it was mine and I could deploy that 75 horsepower to take me wherever I chose. As this period pre-dates my digital camera ownership, I only have this rather sorry excuse for a photograph:

What a beauty! I upgraded those 13 inch wheels to – wait for it – 14 inch wheels. With extra driving lamps I ranged across the country – I shared my first trip to the Lake District and even nipped across the border to Gretna in this machine. It had manual windows and mirrors, no central locking, no power steering – not even ABS. Looking back this was useful, as it provided an excellent bare bones introduction to motoring.

Yet this wasn’t the only Dagenham Destroyer in my fleet – hell no! I was also the extremely proud owner of a 1990 SWB Transit – used to cart around my sound and light gear.

A real rust wagon – powered by a 2.0 litre petrol engine that offered neither performance nor economy. Whether I was in the Escort or the Transit, I was always seen tearing around the streets with all the apparent vigour of a tortoise with gout.

Having had the Escort since acquiring my licence in 1996, during 2000 I began to look towards moving on. I was driving my dad’s car occasionally – a Vauxhall Vectra SRi (pictured here in 2005 at the Nordschleife entry gate – an episode I’ll cover later).

Suddenly I had all the modern luxuries – electric windows and mirrors, 15″ alloys, air conditioning, remote central locking – even traction control. Perhaps most importantly for me, its two litre engine developed 136 horsepower, with – compared to the Escort – very useful low down torque.

2000 was my first year of full time employment, so as 2001 arrived it was certainly time to stop borrowing the Vectra, and replace the Escort. Being 21, my needs weren’t very complicated: I needed to be faster than anyone else I knew, I wanted it to be reliable, and I had heard that rear wheel drive was A Good Thing. This ruled out the Peugeot 306 GTi6 I was considering, and the Audi A6 Quattro that wasn’t pure RWD, so I got myself one of these:

This car introduced me to a whole new world of motoring – both on-road and virtual. It absolutely ignited my passion for driving (and perhaps, oversteer) and also introduced me to car internet forums. The latter provided a double-edged sword – such forums attract all sorts – but one forum in particular led to some absolutely fantastic road trips around the UK. The first of these was a visit to the Lake District in early 2003.

While all this was going on my sound and light business had outgrown the little old transit, so I “upgraded” to a 1992 LWB 2.5 litre diesel effort. Look how beautiful it was!

Okay, so it was an eyesore. But it did offer significantly more load space and payload, and with power steering and a classic diesel chugger it was far more the freight machine I was looking for.

Still, back to the cars. With almost 200hp and over 200 lb/ft torque at my disposal, in the 328i I was fast, it was reliable, and RWD was good. After two years though it was time to move on, so in February 2003 I took the next natural step: it was time for an M3.

Still to this day this has been my favourite car. 321hp, 258 lb/ft of torque and a proper LSD. I didn’t care that the interior was a bit manky, and I liked the fact that it was a saloon and not a coupe. I used this car a lot. I shared my maiden voyage to the Nürburgring with this car, multiple trips to Cornwall, the Lakes and Wales, and had an epic tour of Scotland.

Sadly I was separated from this car by a local garage who rather carelessly wrote it off for me in March 2005. While the insurance wrangle was taking place I once again took ownership of the old family Vauxhall Vectra SRi. Of course, this was quite a step down, but as a utility wagon it was very useful. The transit had recently died, I had wound down my sound and light business, so it was a good one-stop interim solution.

There was however a complication. I had a trip to the Nürburgring already booked before the M3 was written off. I therefore had to take the Vectra – a grim prospect at the best of times – but significantly more so given that its gearbox was obviously broken. I therefore fitted a refurbished item and headed to Germany.

In convoy with an E36 M3, an E34 M5 and an E39 M5 the SRi was completely out of place – an utter embarrassment. However, it redeemed itself with some massive lift-off oversteer:

All jolly hilarious, until on the way home the car once again spat its gearbox. Having to come home from Bonn on a flat-bed transporter is horrible, and the entire trip was perhaps the low point of my motoring decade. The Vectra therefore finally left the family, and I was car-less.

By this time Diane and I were living together, so we got by using her Peugeot 106 Rallye. Despite being of French origin I feel this little car was certainly good enough to warrant more than a passing mention in this post. It was light, had over 100hp, and developed a good chunk of torque from its little 1.6 litre 8V unit. So despite being a touch unreliable and a FWD scrabbler, it was a lot of fun.

We had this car from 2004 to 2009, so it certainly made its mark on our motoring decade. So, back to March 2005 then when I was car-less. After much research, I concluded that for the money I’d received for the green M3 I simply couldn’t do any better, and so bought another M3!

Rather than the all-I-could-afford green saloon, this was perhaps my ideal E36 M3 Evo. Techno-violet with heated silver leather – this thing even had electric rear vent windows!

I had this car for a year, ensuring it took in all the usual Cornwall/Lakes/Curborough/Nürburgring trips, and even a camping holiday to La Rochelle. At the end of 2005, we once again – but briefly – became a three car family. Robin and I invested in a £50 Ford Sierra Ghia for our charity “Staples 2 Naples” rally trip.

The car was of course horrific, but everything worked, and it didn’t let us down at all despite thorough abuse all the way from Woking to Naples. We scrapped it in Rome and flew home; something I really regret.

By early 2006, despite the M3 Evo being a fantastic example, I felt it time to move on from the E36, so I traded it in for an E46 330d sport touring. This represented a significant step down in terms of performance and a shift away from motorsport in general. Yet the new car was a lovely place to be, extremely practical and pleasingly efficient.

In our first month together we went to the Lake District, to Birmingham, to Wales, to Scotland, and to the Nürburgring – some 5,000 miles! I chopped off the droopy tail pipe and sorted some nice straight tips, and changed the wheels to the more recent items (more recent above, originals below).

As we leave this decade, this is now our primary family car. We sold the 106R in 2009 when it became a little too unreliable, and frankly basic, for our liking. We’re now married, own a dog, and this is our car. I write this article from the Lake District – marking this car’s 4th visit there with me. However, this doesn’t end my motoring decade review – not by a long shot!

I realised that, much as I love my tractor (330d, above), it lacks a certain bit of motoring soul. I filled this in January 2007 with the purchase of a 1988 E30 M3!

With a screaming straight four and LSD I was back in the M-club, and what a party it was. I loved it so much I decided in July 2007 to upgrade to a 1990 E30 M3 Evo II.

I held onto this car for another year, during which it featured in two BMW Car Magazine articles and two trips to the Nürburgring.

In amongst all this I decided to take up a spot of rally navigating. Pictured here with driver/owner Simon Stevinson, I spent a few shifts in 2007 in the nav-seat of his E36 M3 Rally Compact.

It was a great little car, and Simon an extremely composed driver, who I can’t thank enough for being so patient with me while I learned the ropes. I had a massive amount of fun in that car – we had many battles, and I’ve even got a trophy or two as a result somewhere. It was fantastic having to deal with the elements, and at times fix the car, to get us through to the end of the day. I would have loved to have taken the next step to driving and car ownership, but I sagely (and perhaps boringly) concluded that I couldn’t afford to allocate funds in that way.

Ultimately though, when I became married in August 2008 I decided that both rallying, and E30 M3 ownership, and all the oil and rust which was involved, wasn’t really becoming of a husband. I therefore packed in the rallying and sold the M3. Immediately I realised that in doing so I had lost much of my identity, so 4 hours later I rushed out and bought a nice sensible family car:

That’s right, it’s a 2000 E39 M5 – 400 horsepower to you. This basically brings us up to date – we’re a two car family with a wonderful E46 330d sport touring and a V8 M5. The 330d is a great utility vehicle. I’ve modified it to play DVDs on the move to entertain my passengers, it has iPod integration, stealth sub and a built in inverter. It’s a fantastic, quick machine, boasting 200hp and 40mpg. We love it, and it is backed up by a super saloon sporting an astonishing blend of performance and comfort. While both cars have been around the block a few times (both just under 120,000 miles), they still scrub up nicely and provide everything we currently need on the road. Oh, with the exception of four wheel drive – that’s my prediction for the 2010s!

This sums up my review of the decade. Throughout these years I’ve documented a good deal of motoring action which has, in some parts at least, been well received. I’ve even landed a regular slot writing for BMW Car Magazine. I’ve had an absolute ball these ten years thanks to my cars and my motoring friends. I can’t thank those friends and family enough for their support of my crazy ventures, and as my last blog post of the decade I’d like to thank you all for reading, and wish you a very happy new year.

A couple of days of Lake District action to catch up on. I have been amazed by the constant severity of the weather here. During previous visits I have wished for a decent attempt at winter weather, and this time we’ve got it. I’m used to snow covering the hills during winter, but here we’ve got proper snow coverage even in the relatively low lying towns like Ambleside. As a result, many of my usual pastimes such as white knuckle rides over mountain passes are completely off the agenda; they would be a suicide mission, ending prematurely at best. Furthermore even the fell climbing I’m used to has proven too much.

Our aim on Monday was to have a bit of a walk and to generally give the antipodeans a feel for the Lake District. The morning was damn cold – some minus 4 degrees.

After a certain amount of scrapy scrapy, we headed north-west from Ambleside to Skelwith Bridge, and from there we walked to Elterwater – a beautiful little village. We parked the tractor up:

Got out our walking sticks:

We got our hike on:

Brenden loved a bit of it:

We made found a snowman:

It was a touch icy in places:

Brenden and Emily were clearly getting on nicely with the great British countryside:

Even Robin popped in to join us:

After a spot more trekking:

We happened upon the delightful Brittania pub in Elterwater. Hound friendly, a great selection of drinks, open fires, low beams, real ales etc – it had it all.

After a stride back to the car we set out to see how viable climbing Sca Fell would be the next day. As it happened, getting across the Wrynose and Hardknott passes just wasn’t feasible at all, so we attempted to drive the long way around. Sadly, even getting to Wasdale wasn’t possible so we had to scrub that idea. In any case, we headed back to base (Ambleside).

We found Ambleside’s “Royal Oak” to be most accommodating that night. The next morning we woke to find a stunning view across lake Windemere.

That (this) morning we decided that as Sca Fell wasn’t accessible. we should attempt to climb something else – settling on Helvellyn, the third highest peak in the Lakes (and England for that matter). Further reading on that Wikipedia page to which I just linked suggested that during winter months anyone considering climbing Hellvelyn should first consult “weatherline”. Here’s the entry for today:

Issued: Tuesday, 29 December 2009

FELLTOP CONDITIONS REPORT from Helvellyn at 1.30pm on Tuesday 29th December 2009. There is significant snow and ice at all levels. Snow depth increasesi with height to reach between 20 to 30cm. With the recent wind the snow has shifted and drifts of over 100cm are common with some evidence of loose windslab. The deep snow makes the going slow. Significant cornices have formed along the summit ridges, so please keep well back from the edge and advise others to do likewise. Full winter clothing, footwear and equipment, including ice axe and crampons are essential for anyone venturing out onto the fells. Several Lakeland tarns, such as Red Tarn, have frozen. The ice is not that thick, so please do not be tempted out on them! Summit statistics today (these are taken when the Fell Top Assessor is on the summit, they do not represent max/min figures for the past 24 hours). Temperature, minus 3.4C. Wind chill, minus 13.4C

Between the four of us, we were prepared to some extent: we had two walking poles and two water packs. No ice axes or crampons in sight! We didn’t know all this of course, so set off regardless. It was a picturesque journey north from Ambleside:

Upon stepping from the car we soon realised that yesterday’s calm, bright conditions were history; today was colder, overcast and damn right breezy.

We began our ascent, and quickly made progress. In the photograph below, the car was left at lake level:

The snow quickly became deeper:

The wind grew in strength:

The going soon got really tough. Hail in the face, snow drifting so fast it immediately covered the tracks laid by the person in front. Frightening stuff; time to sit down:

This picture just about shows the rate of snow drifting:

At this point, given that we weren’t fully prepared, we decided to turn back. Even those with crampons, ice axes and rucksacks full of various other unimaginable kit were turning back. So we bailed too. Fortunately romping back down the hill in deep snow was tremendous fun!

We had climbed quite a distance – certainly enough to justify a bit of relaxation for the rest of the day. We tried to explore the Kirkstone pass, but unsurprisingly, that too was formally shut. So with little else to do, we headed into town for some ale and whisky, pausing briefly to photograph lake Windermere.

So far, while the roads that have been closed due to snow and ice have certainly proved to be a disappointment, we’ve had a wonderful time sampling perhaps the most beautiful slice of English winter.